OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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