Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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