I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
