...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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