You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
