I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
there is glitter all over my balls
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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