At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
