And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
