if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
