Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
