Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
