ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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