So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he thought i was a dude.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
