and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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