You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Jerry, you need to find god
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
