Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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