remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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