It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
