It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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