I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
