Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
