i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
