So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
