i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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