I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
