Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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