This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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