so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
