I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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