if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
