Tell her she can't have a vagina
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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