Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
