Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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