im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
