You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
