she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
