Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
