so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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