We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
