theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
