she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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