She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
