ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
