They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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