I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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