i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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