i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
