tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
