I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
