mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize